A Sorta Fairytale

you say the word you know i will find you
or if you need some time i dont mind
i don’t hold on to the tail of your kite
i’m not like the girls that you’ve known
but i believe i’m worth coming home to
kiss away night this girl only sleeps with butterflies
~ Sleeps with Butterflies
(this is a brave girl song.. about a girl whose not asking too much but a chance to let her love the man she, well… loves)

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why do i feel so threatened
that somebody else will take what’s mine
babe its only rented
nobody really owns the merchandise
~The Big Picture
(This kind of says that nothing really is permanent in this world. They say the greatest things in life come in cheap, well I say that’s crap)

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I got a brand new dress babe
could it make you wanna try
I guess I didn’t want to notice
the stars gone from your eyes
come on baby, I’m much stronger than you know
sometimes I’m not afraid to let it show
~ Cool in Your Island
(I like the “i guess i didn’t want to notice the stars gone from your eyes” part. Some people would go as far as to playing dumb.. sigh. When you realize the person you love isn’t that into you anymore, it sure sucks.)

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and if I die today I’ll be a happy phantom
and I’ll go chasing the nuns out in the yard
and I’ll run naked through the streets without my mask on
and I will never need umbrellas in the rain
I’ll wake up in strawberry fields everyday
~ The Happy Phantom
(If only I don’t believe in hell, and that spirits don’t go about the fields or do rain dancing after dying, I’d probably would have done the same as this happy phantom and would definitely have a list full of people to torment haha!)

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caught a ride with the moon
I know you well better than i used to
haze all clouded up my mind
in the daze of the why it could’ve never been
so you say and I say you know you’re full of wish
and your “baby baby baby babies”
I’ll tell you there’s pieces of me you’ve never seen
maybe she’s just pieces of me you’ve never seen well
~ Tear In Your Hand
(If your former lover finds the girl he’s been looking for, just say “she’s just pieces of me you’ve never seen well” haha!)

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and all of the playing stopped in the playground now
she wants to play with her toys a while
and schools out early and soon we’ll be learning
and the lesson today is how to die
and then the bullhorn crackles
and then the captain tackles
with the problems and the how’s and why’s
~ I Don’t Like Mondays
(As we grow older, we complicate things, we forget the things that really matter)

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way up north i took my day
all in all was a pretty nice day
and i put the hood right back
where you could taste heaven perfectly
feel out the summer breeze
didn’t know when we’d be back
and I- I don’t- didn’t think
we’d end up like this
~ A Sorta Fairytale
(I’ve had my share of Once-Upon-A-Time’s. And just like any other fairy tale, the reality of it is that… it ends)

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is it too weak to look for saviors out in space?
Little earth she tries to change our ways
Sometimes she must get sick of this place
~Floating City
(Really people, the end of the world is nearing. Let’s all end our worldly doings and repent now!)

Here are few pictures of me and my sisters and brothers from way, way, way back. this is just to give you a little bit of idea how i looked like before. heheheh

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me and my mommy.. aint she pretty? kalbo ako!!

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A pose with my father’s first ever bike. He bought it the same year i was born..

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That’s me (with the bangs).. with my sister Tayanne and brothers Mans and Bok taking the time to take pictures before Bok heads out for school.. this was taken from our old house..

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Me at 4 and sister Tayanne at 2. This one’s my favorite. Napansin nyo ba na i look exactly the same when i was knee high up to now?

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at my cousin Bai Tata Biruar Kali’s wedding. This was my first time to be a flower girl. I remember how excited i was and how weird it felt to have make up on and marching to the aisle with a lot of people bellowing over. That little boy beside my is my nephew Chu-Chu. He has his own family now. Time’s moving so fast!!!

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Needless to say, this other two are my beautiful sisters that make up the Z3 (which if you dont know, stands for Zahara, Zaheeda and Zakina). I was always the ugly and the badly dressed from the bunch (i hate wearing those nice, itchy dresses that my mom always make us wear).. Look how i insisted wearing on sandals instead of pretty Cinderella shoes. I wished I had listened to my mom!

hey friends.. so how well do you know me? come take the test!!

WARNING! Daming trick questions. Pick the best answer!

if reading someone else’s drama makes you cringe, then stop right there, close the window and walk away. but if you find it interesting and rather amusing (to lurk and snoop), continue & click play to listen to norah jones’ come away with me as you, well, come away with me..

you ever wished the world would just spin more slowly so that you can stop trying so hard to keep up with everything that’s been happening.. i know i do..coz i feel so left out right now. there’s so much things that i want and have to do. yet i find myself afraid to take the road, see what goes ahead and take my chances. im still here, standing. waiting for the axe to fall. im a coward.

so now im going to try to start making some sort of sense out of this life by making a list.. a list of everything i want to do,i want & dream to be, i might want to be, i may consider to be or whatever the hell possibilities fate throws in on me. so here goes.

i want to go back to school. study nursing or business management or computer science.

i want to work abroad, particularly in UAE. dont really want to distance myself from my belief and culture..

or maybe id soon get rid of my motion sickness and be a flight attendant.or go to singapore, find my friends there and be a waitress on some high paying restaurant or a hotel receptionist on a world class five-star hotel in dubai..

or just a thought.. spending too much time on the internet could pay off. i could be a webmaster or something. wat-dya-think-o-dat?? hahaha.. dream on!

well, if none of those ever work, i could always apply on the government agencies here in our town..do some typing or whatever. (and be a total suck up?)

i could also work on a non-government agency. and make a difference. huh?

i want to have my own a restaurant specializing on pizza and pastas. or own a fashion boutique with all the latest trends and expensive brands.

im going to travel all over asia, the US, go backpacking to europe and experience the wild life in africa. watch the F1 grandprix in all different cities and countries, cheer on the ferari team with a small checkered flag in my hand. or go to the finest beaches, to cancun definitely, and go cruisin all the way to the Caribbeans (and take a lot of bonamine thats for sure)

i want to buy a cat: maine coon, balinese or a himalayan cat.

im going to learn to cook and bake. or play a piano and learn all of tori amos’ masterpieces.

i want to marry someday. maybe at 30 i dont know. ok, 29. i know its a little too old, but hey, i want to take my time, not rush things and make my dreams come true first. oh well, at least maybe one. im going to be a good wife and the world’s greatest mom ever. we’ll live in a two-story white house, with 4 bedrooms, a swimming pool and a wonderful garden..

maybe years later, id scan over my previous blogs and stumble on this puddle of dreamlist im writing now and have a good laugh out of it. some of these dreams would come to life while some would remain a dream for the rest of my life. i dont know which one, i mean, can you tell? guess we’ll just have to wait. wait. wait much longer and see. :p